CHASESMITH.COM
STATUS: DOING FINE
Chase Smith with a mustache, giving a skeptical look
SUBJECT: SMITH, CHASE LAST SEEN: MUSTACHED

PUBLIC RECORD // PROBABLY ACCURATE

CHASE
SMITH

No verified explanation has been provided, but morale appears high.

01

Overview

Very little is known about Chase Smith.

Some say he appeared suddenly. Others claim he has always been here.

His qualifications remain unclear. His intentions are questionable. His website is somehow real.

Attempts to learn more have produced conflicting reports, several dead ends, and at least one unnecessary spreadsheet.

If you have found chasesmith.com looking for answers, you have already made your first mistake.

02

Known Facts

The following information has been verified by at least one source, although standards were low.

  • He has never been photographed blinking.
  • Blue is freaking tight.
  • In a 2017 survey, 100% of respondents confirmed they had heard the question.
  • He has been within 500 miles of several historically significant events.
  • He owns at least one shirt.
  • He has successfully used a microwave.
  • Experts agree he exists.

If you are reading this, the website is working.